A New Day

white_wolf

I have been told by many of my Cherokee friends that the wolf, in their tradition, is seen as a pathfinder and teacher. For many years, I took part in forums on Tribe.net, Gaia.net(Zaadz), and Yahoo groups, that dealt with Native American culture. I woudl go out and learn and then bring back and share with the groups. One of the members of a group on Yahoo, who was Cherokee, noted this. She contacted me offline and told me that she saw the spirit of the wolf in me and gave me the, Tsalagi name, Unega Waya, White Wolf. I have been called many things in my life, some unrepeatable, but I embrace the name of White Wolf because of the meaning behind it.

That kind of plays along with the other nicname that was given to me when I first started learning computer programming. I really took to it and was a leader in the class, often turning and helping others to understand. When the instructor decided to quit midterm, he suggested that they had the class over to me. So I would go home at night learn the next segment and come back and teach everyone else. So I earned the nicname, The Professor. I guess it is kind of a “character flaw” that I like to learn and to share what I learn. In one of my past jobs, I actually had a boss say in a review that he was impressed that I shared so much. He said that most guys wouldn’t share quite as much for fear of losing their job. I told him that it is just the natural teacher in me. You see, I believe that we advance as a society when we openly share ideas and dreams.

That is probably why a few have called me a socialist or libtard. Though in truth I am not political. I am, what in Massachusetts, is called unenrolled. (Being independent is not allowed I guess.) I tolerate Capitalism only because that is the world we live in. I think it is an awful system that changes the priority from people and the environment to profit at all cost. I will explore that and other topics in future blogs. Leave it to say that I think that what Jean Luc Picard said to Alfre Woodward’s character in First Contact, basically that they outgrew the need for money and that men were judged on their accomplishments not on what they accrued. So label me as you will, but I put people first. It is my spiritual way.

Which leads us to another nicname, Father Ed. I always heave a sigh when someone calls me that. Initially it was meant as a derogatory, or at least that was how I took it. I was always seen as a spiritual person, and being raised Catholic, that meant destined for the priesthood. Indeed, I was always active in the church as a young person. Though in phases. It is like I would go to the church, but after a while become disenchanted and walk away, only to come back again. I had been exposed at an early age by going to church, when staying at my Grandmother’s. We would sit in the choir loft at Sacred Heart while my uncle, the renowned Irish tenor, and my Godfather, Kenny Leger would issue forth such beauty in song. I would later follow in those footsteps for a period in my own church’s choir. I remember singing for midnight mass one time and had the solo for Oh Holy Night. A woman came to me later and said how it sent chills down her spine. I had also been an altar boy for a period. I had drifted away from the church as I got to be a teen until a friend asked if I wanted to go to a tryout for a play at the local CYO. The play was Seven Wives for Count Dracula. Ted Dorin, the Director, was trying to get someone to play the part of Renfield. No one seemed to quite get what he was after. Then I made the mistake of chiming in with my best Peter Lorre impersonation and he yelled, “that’s it!” and offered me the part. I tried to tell him I didn’t belong to CYO and was only there to watch my friend Pat try out, but soon everyone was cajoling me to join and be in the play. Interestingly enough, that role won me Best Actor for Newport County CYO. I tied for Best Actor in the state competition and lost on a coin toss. I would follow with a repeat performance as  Ivan the Russian Count/John Smith Hollywood dress designer in Scrambled Eggs the following year, also taking Best Actor for Newport County CYO, and once again tying in the states and losing by the toss of a coin again. Our CYO director was fit to be tied and it was the last time we competed as he felt they should have either awarded it to me for winning the second time, or at least sharing the award. Ah well, such was the acting carreer for me. Soon I was to join the Air Force and spend four years in Arkansas. That is another story though. I returned from the Air Force and worked a short time selling electrical supplies and then joined the church again, this time as a Youth Minister working for the Diocease of Providence and living at a Youth Center in Middletown. My bedroom was the old sacristy off the chapel. I guess that is the closest you could say I came to becoming a priest. I did go to the Chancellory to interview. Interesting in that when the Monsignor asked me if I liked women, I thought of that old Tommy Tune song from Finians Rainbow. If I can’t be with the one I love, I’ll love the one I’m with. Bzzzt, wrong answer. No sense of humor. So needless to say, he told me I should go back home and reconsider. Just as well, because I never bought into the Nicene Creed anyway. I had one more stint with the Catholic Church during my second marriage, but that was just attending, I didn’t get involved. After that, it was just taking my kids to church on Father’s Day when I had them on that one particular Sunday. Another story there, but let’s leave that for another blog.
Well, I suppose that just leaves the one other nicname, Big Ed. Well, at 6’2, 242 pounds, I am quite the large picture. A big change from the 6’2″ 145 pound waif who went into the Air Force. They pumped me up to 185 pounds. Thought the origination was due to having a cousin named Eddie. Eddie Francis was younger, so he became Little Eddie and I became Big Eddie. The name stuck and I became known as Big Ed to some.

So there is my introduction and the beginning of a new Day. I am hoping that I can get back into the discipline of writing at least once a week as I did for World Wide Hippies. Some blogs will be simple meanderings or ruminations on things that catch my fancy. Some may take deeper forays into philisophical discussion. Granted, we won’t have a discussion on here, but these are my thoughts, they aren’t up for debate, just sharing. The hope is that it will stimulate thoughts in others and maybe get them into conversations with friend and family about topical subjects instead of plopping down to watch the brain matter waste away on the latest episode of Duck Dynasty.
Some of my earlier posts can be found at the original Thoughts on a Cloudy Day. Thoughts on a Cloudy Day

So with that introduction, I bid you adieu and close as I usually do with:

My heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.

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About Emma Morgaine Croft

I have been called many things on my journey, Professor, White Wolf, Rainbow Warrior and Spirit Walker. I had a blog on blogger.com for a number of years. I think the last post was when Papa passed back in 2012. I had also written for World Wide Hippies online mag for a year or so and even won a Golden Note for online writing. I got burned out writing and decided to stop for a bit. The only writing I did was comments on things I shared on Facebook. Unfortunately, that often got into a lot of angry and ugly talk. I try to maintain my cool, but there are just some unreasonable people out there. I found it emotionally and spiritually draining. I saw my niece's blog on here and thought that maybe it was time to resurrect Thoughts On A Cloudy Day. These are my thoughts and meanderings. You can accept them or walk away. I hope that in some way, these thoughts can spark other thoughts and sharing by people around the world. My dream is to make the world a better place for all people. My heart to your heart, one hear, one spirit.
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