The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions – the little, soon forgotten charities of a kiss or a smile, a kind look or heartfelt compliment. – Samuel Taylor Coleridge
There are many things that a transperson has to overcome on their journey. It is great when you finally get there and start to see the legal documents change one by one. I think one of the greatest moments was when I got my new license with my new name and a big “F” on it. It culminated with my birth certificate finally being changed. Officially Emma Morgaine Croft, female!
Though I am now legally Emma and have been since last July, the transition never really stops. I still have military records to change over. I have the deed on the house and the mortgage, but most everything else is done. Probably the biggest thing now is the interactions with others. Most especially with my wife.
I love Cindy dearly for standing by and supporting me and loving me through all of this. She has been my strength and I love her immensely. Curiously, I noted something recently. When Cindy and I are out in public, I have started turning and giving that cheek kiss or side of lips. Weird. I brought this up in my recent group and I was told that many lesbians have the same issue. It is almost like you become hyper-sensitive to what others perceive when two women kiss. In giving thought to this, I find it sad. Is our society so against love unless it conforms to strict guidelines that people cannot express that love publicly? Now I am not talking about tongue to your belly kisses, I am talking about a simple kiss goodbye or see ya later.
Why is it that our society has created the paradigm that the only love is between a man and a woman. Though, I should say a man and a woman or a child as in some places a man can marry a child. Yet, for two women to share a loving kiss, is bad? I am really struggling with this whole paradigm. Though, at least two women kissing is more acceptable than two men. For some guys, they see two women kissing as kinky. Ugh.
I have harped and harped about how I feel that we need to get over all this labeling. We need to advance as a civilization to the point where we accept love as love without labels. I love Cindy and always will. She has my heart and soul. I am going to take note going forward whenever I feel reticent to show that love in public, to push through that. She deserves all my love and I need to show it no matter where we are.
As I have stated more than once, it should not matter who we love, only that we love.
My heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.