Not A Life Choice – Continuing to Recover


I am still working towards this look. Might take a bit as I still have a bit to go with the hair. Just giving an update for those who may be following due to them possibly following me down the surgery route.

So many times I have spoken about the pain one has to endure throughout this process. I continue with pain, but am managing with Tylenol. I took myself off of the Oxycodone. I have to admit, there are times when I wish I had more, but I have that one left and am not touching it. If I need to, I will just double up on Tylenol. That helps to lower the pain to the manageable level.

I was talking openly about the dilation. Cindy told me that I shouldn’t really be talking about that openly. I feel that it is appropriate here, as it is for educational purposes. She said when others are around, to please refer to it as PT. Dilation is a big part of this post-op In order to prevent the neo-vagina from closing up, you have to dilate three times a day. This will be tapered off as the months and years go on. I was so excited when I first dilated with the nurse and I “buried the dots”.


Notice that the second one is about twice as wide. Needless to say, I was lucky to have three dots showing when I first did it. Persistence and Tylenol and soon I started seeing just one dot. The dots denote the depth, and the nurse commented that I had extremely good depth.

Let me take a step back a bit. There are two types of vaginoplasty. There is the penile inversion as I had. Then there is the one where they just create a vulva, reposition the urethra and create a neo-labia. I believe with the second option there is no need for dilation, but given the uncertainty of my future, I wanted to keep options open.

I had my last check-up last week. The nurse said that I appeared to be doing extremely well. According to her, everything looks the way it should. I did note an issue with spray when peeing, but she said that may correct itself as the swelling continues to abate. I also note that as the swelling is abating, so does the pain. I am still uncomfortable, but it is at least tolerable. For those who are prepping to go through the same, be sure to get plenty of light days liners. You will need them. At 18 days past surgery, I am still uncomfortable, but managing. This is major surgery, so don’t expect a quick return to normalcy. The nurse told me it could be six weeks before I can start doing things. I will be returning to work on the 8th, but since I work from home and work in the cloud, it is mostly sitting, which I am doing anyway.

For those who are planning on going through this, be sure to sign up for FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) and Short Term Disability, if your company provides it. This will help from loss of funds during your recovery. I am just waiting for the bills to start coming. I did manage to squirrel away some funds before starting, so as to minimize the impact, but I may need to come up with some more cash. I will take it as it comes.

I continue to recover and with each passing day, things get better. I may even attempt to go grocery shopping later this afternoon. My store still uses plastic sacks so not much goes in them.

In other news, we are on cria watch, as Jitty looks like she is getting ready to have her baby. We will put that announcement on our farm Facebook page.

My heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.

P.S. If you are looking to have the procedure done, feel free to reach out to me. I went to Boston Medical with Dr. Slama and Dr. Oates. They were outstanding. Their whole team was superior.

Emma Morgaine Croft.

About Emma Morgaine Croft

I have been called many things on my journey, Professor, White Wolf, Rainbow Warrior and Spirit Walker. I had a blog on for a number of years. I think the last post was when Papa passed back in 2012. I had also written for World Wide Hippies online mag for a year or so and even won a Golden Note for online writing. I got burned out writing and decided to stop for a bit. The only writing I did was comments on things I shared on Facebook. Unfortunately, that often got into a lot of angry and ugly talk. I try to maintain my cool, but there are just some unreasonable people out there. I found it emotionally and spiritually draining. I saw my niece's blog on here and thought that maybe it was time to resurrect Thoughts On A Cloudy Day. These are my thoughts and meanderings. You can accept them or walk away. I hope that in some way, these thoughts can spark other thoughts and sharing by people around the world. My dream is to make the world a better place for all people. My heart to your heart, one hear, one spirit.
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