I was diagnosed with Asperger’s years ago. It is now called Autism Spectrum Disorder. One of the things that is upsetting to someone who was diagnosed with Asperger’s is change. One thing that I am in abundance of is change these days. It all started with me losing my job. That prompted a whirlwind of change. I had already started to check out the dating scene. I tried Match, but no luck, I found someone on OurTime, dating for seniors.

A little background on me. I started life as a chef. I love to cook. I love to try new things. I love to experiment. I used to be known for my ribs, wings and lamb. All of that has changed. I used to buy stuff from my friend Joe Furtado who was a rep for Pampered Chef. I used to buy from Maureen Morisi from Epicurean. I loved a lot of their products. I used to do demos for them. I also used to push Touchstone by Swarovski through Rene Fleming. She even set me up with my own page on Facebook, Sparkle with Lady Emma.

I miss all of that. I miss trying new foods. I miss experimenting. I found love and I gave all of that up. It gets to me sometimes but I will take being loved over all the rest. My friend Maureen did send me some milder stuff to try, but I miss buying a boneless lamb and cubing it to make lamb gyros with Tzatziki sauce in a wrap. Oooh that was so good. I also miss making chicken Souvlaki. Pauline likes things with no pink. She loves simple foods. I don’t even use hot sauces anymore. I do it all for love.

I miss my spicy foods, but I did find a Thai place in a plaza nearby. We like to go to a couple of local places for Breakfast. We have a Cracker Barrel one exit up and a Poor Boys Diner up 28. We love them both. Market Basket is one exit up too. So it isn’t like I am going hungry.

It is an adjustment that I am willing to make. I want us to be happy. We have plans to go to Puerto Rico for a wedding. We are going to make it a vacation. I still suffer from suicidal ideation but feeling that we have a future, it helps me to get through. I gave my heart and soul to the farm and loved giving the informational tours, but that was ended and I was told I had to move. I spent a few years alone and now have somebody. I even moved to New Hampshire! I always loved it here and said once I wanted to move here. Now I live here and work in Auburn, NH. I have a short commute to work each morning. I miss working from home, but it’s a job. I hope it works out and I can have a permanent income.

As always, my heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.

Love Emma

About Emma Morgaine Croft

I have been called many things on my journey, Professor, White Wolf, Rainbow Warrior and Spirit Walker. I had a blog on blogger.com for a number of years. I think the last post was when Papa passed back in 2012. I had also written for World Wide Hippies online mag for a year or so and even won a Golden Note for online writing. I got burned out writing and decided to stop for a bit. The only writing I did was comments on things I shared on Facebook. Unfortunately, that often got into a lot of angry and ugly talk. I try to maintain my cool, but there are just some unreasonable people out there. I found it emotionally and spiritually draining. I saw my niece's blog on here and thought that maybe it was time to resurrect Thoughts On A Cloudy Day. These are my thoughts and meanderings. You can accept them or walk away. I hope that in some way, these thoughts can spark other thoughts and sharing by people around the world. My dream is to make the world a better place for all people. My heart to your heart, one hear, one spirit.
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