My life just seems to get worse. My one saving grace is my love for Pauline. Granted there is a lot of issues with our relationship with Pauline. It can be difficult at times due to her being deaf, but we keep working for me to learn sign to communicate. I was just informed that a job I was assigned to do through Robert Half has ended, I was just beginning training, I have had a lack of sleep due to working at night. Well now that they released me, no more nights, no more work, no more life,

I have struggled a lot. I have thought many times about ending my life. Pauline keeps me going, It is so hard to just plod along. I love Pauline and want us to succeed, Unfortunately, everything always seems stacked against us, I just want her to be happy. I want to help her.

Probably the worst is all the feelings of loss, Losing this latest job made things worse, I am spiraling down. I seek death. Life sucks and then you die, I have really come to believe that.. Working at CSQuared was difficult with the lack of training. I was hoping for a good income so I could move us forward, I am to the pint of giving up, but I can never, Day by day, One foot in front of the other. I just have to plod forward, My life sucks and I yearn to die,

I unfortunately am cursed to live to 93. That is why I push forward. Never give up.

My life to your life one heart, one spirit,

Emma