We seem to be constantly looking for way to differentiate ourselves, to separate ourselves from others. Is it ego that drives this need to be different, better, special? Over the past few writings I have talked about the many ways that we have come to push ourselves apart from each other, to disconnect from each other, and from all of life. Whether we use imaginary boundaries and call them countries, differences in the way we perceive our spiritual beliefs and call it religion, or differences in the shades of our skin and call it race, we try to find the smallest difference and blow it up and point to it to say, “See, I am better than you!” As if this weren’t bad enough, we also use sex, gender, and sexual orientation as one more weapon in our arsenal of separation.
Before I get too deep into this, let me first differentiate between these three. While many applications may read sex or gender when referring to the request for information as to whether you are a man or a woman, the truth is, that should say sex. Sex is the physiological differentiation between men and women. Of course, we are so into our black and white world, that we see this as an either/or proposition. Yet, in truth, all three are linear and we fall some place on the line. There are some who are born with both male and female genitalia. Decisions are made either by the doctor or the parents and the sex is decided by others. In one such case, the person grew up with a condition known in the DSM-IV as Gender Dysphoria. This is where they grow up feeling that they are in conflict with their bodies. They perceive themselves to be a gender opposite than what their physical attributes would say. In other words, they may feel they are a woman in a man’s body. Or they may feel they are a man in a woman’s body. In the aforementioned case, the person grew up with gender dysphoria and then found out later that they had been born with both genitalia and the doctor made a choice. They sought out the doctor to kill them. In this case, the doctor guessed wrong. This isn’t always the case though. Please do not confuse transgendered people with transexuals. There is a distinct difference between the two.
Gender is the way we perceive ourselves regardless of our genitalia. This is also linear and not quite black and white. We sometimes see this as masculine and feminine traits. We don’t fall either distinctly as one or the other but rather fall somewhere along the line. For the most part our minds are in alignment with our bodies, but if people understood what people who suffer gender dysphoria had to go through, they wouldn’t be giving the sneers and jeers behind their backs.
The same can be said for sexual preference. Of course California’s passing of Proposition 8 shows how we use sexual preference to separate us. Why is it so important for people to push their own idea of right and wrong on others? Science has shown us that even in the animal kingdom there are gay animals. There is some evidence that it may be genetically passed down. I have one question for those who are so against gays have equal rights as everyone else, and use God as their justification, what if he intentionally created gays in order to control population? Why, if God is so against it, there is evidence of gay animals? I think it was in Legally Blond 2 that the Senator admits his dog is gay. Yet, if you mention science, then those against claim that it is Gay agenda and not real science. The thing is what if all those who claim that it is against God are wrong. What if it is God’s intention? Are you willing to continue to say that gays are lesser than you and an abomination? Of course, there are those that will say that maybe those who speak loudest against and are most fearful of the “gay agenda” really are afraid of their own desires. After all, just as sex and gender aren’t exactly black and white, neither is sexual orientation. We actually fall somewhere along a line. Sometimes having feelings for both sexes, or bisexual. The “B” in LGBT. (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered).
Of course, there is still issues between men and woman and the “gender barrier” known as the glass ceiling. This spawned the feminist movement that sought to bring equality. It took many years, but a woman can be a CEO of a company now. Back in the 60’s, the Civil Rights movement sought to level the playing field with regards to race. Today we have a black man on the verge of being President. Why can’t we skip the whole movement and just shoot straight for equality and just accept everyone as an equal?
Maybe if we focused more on our own paths and not spending so much time telling everyone else they are on the wrong path, we all can get up the mountain without stepping on everyone else to get there.
My heart to your heart, one heart, one spirit.